Coffee Shop Connections
Coffee Shop Connections
Part 1 of 3: Embracing The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Ever wondered what sets highly effective people apart? How about a fascinating journey that explores the top habits of successful individuals, as presented in Stephen Covey's renown book, 'Seven Habits of Highly Effective People'? In this session, we dive headfirst into the principles that define the mindset of achievers. We discuss how proactivity, focusing on areas of control, and taking responsibility for one's actions contribute to personal and organizational success.
This will be Part 1 of 3 episodes that we will spend on the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Written By Stephen Covey.
Grab Your cup of coffee, a biscotti and enjoy the episode!
Lastly, we invite you to join our ever-growing social media community, share insights, and suggest topics for future discussions. Get set for a whirlwind of inspiration, practical advice, and personal growth in this thought-provoking dialogue.
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Welcome back to Coffee Shop Connections. I know it's been a little bit. We've been on a bit of a hiatus, knowing this is our stress-free podcast. Welcome to our part, one of three episodes, where we are going to review the seven habits of highly effective people written by Stephen Covey, and in this episode we're gonna be going over the top three habits. So please get your cup of coffee a biscotti and enjoy the episode.
Speaker 2:Welcome back to another episode of Coffee Shop Connections. I'm Erin here with my co-host, ashley, and it's been a bit another hot minute. We needed another little brick here. As we said, this is our stress-free podcasting time, where we just love to talk about this stuff and Think about the world around us, and we've been doing a lot of that with our current chaos of our world. So, ashley, how are you doing this morning?
Speaker 1:I'm doing alright. Doing alright. It has been a minute, it's been too long, but we're here stress-free podcast, also known as Coffee Shop Connections here this morning and and life's been chaotic, so you know. You know, last time we chatted I had two dogs, now I have four dogs, so and we're coming up on the holiday season, so it's just been I Hate to say it, but chaotic, but otherwise things are good. Got my coffee Gotta go strong with the Lakota blend right now, and I Got no complaints right now. Well, I have some complaints, but, like, in reality, we're doing alright. So your morning going.
Speaker 2:My morning is going really well. I am sore. This morning we have gotten our first like big snowfall, so I spent the weekend shoveling, which is a great workout if anyone is looking for it. However, they do recommend that, if you haven't been working out, to not start shoveling, because you have a heart attack, heart attack rates, yep, exactly. So I I now joke that I only stay fit in the off season, meaning summer, so that way I can shovel in this in the winter.
Speaker 1:We're still in like. It's a weather in November, right now and like where it goes from 70 to like 40 and like can we just stick to either warm or cold, and so the swing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I, I do love the snow, freshly fallen snow. It's beautiful, it's quiet, everything slows down and takes a pause and there is something nice to be saying like, hey, I'm gonna be outside shoveling. That's my life. And like everyone around is like, yep, us too. And so just, I don't know there's you? Embrace it? Yes, you do, I do. The cold air, it feels good.
Speaker 1:I miss the mountains. I will say that I mean, you guys got a different landscape of mountain, but yes, we are.
Speaker 2:We're not in the mountains, but we see them very clearly and it's beautiful.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, oh yeah. Well, you know, before we get into the Seven habits of highly effective people, today, we're gonna be doing not necessarily a book while we're starting kind of a book review, but we're gonna hit the first three habits of the seven habits of a highly effective peep of effective people by Covey. Before we get into that, though, there was big soccer match this week. I just got a hit on it because you know we talked about World Cup, but this was the Ola, the OL Rain. So like our Seattle Rain vs Gotham FC, and it was the retirement final match, championship match. I don't know if you were falling. Your face is like I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 2:No, I can't. I can't speak to, I'm just. My face is grimacing because I'm just thinking of what like the terrible end of a career for Pino. For Rapinoe, yeah, just not the way you want to go out. And for, if it, nobody is Understanding what we're talking about, she, megan Rapinoe, was playing in her last game, in the finals, and got injured three minutes into the game, which is just like when you think of how you want, when you envision how you want something to go, mm-hmm, it's not. You don't think to myself. I'm gonna step on the field for the last time Time I cleats and, three minutes in, be taken off with my athletic trainers. I know.
Speaker 1:It's just rough it is really rough and it in, but in true Pino fashion. She, you know, kind of joked it off all the sides, but it does suck, and I just had goes off to her with all the things that she's done, and then I was also Ali. She's had quite. This is quite the the cherry on top for her with all the stuff going on right now. So hats off to her too. Yes, congratulations. Always a great way to end on top. Oh yeah, oh yeah. So good soccer. I actually haven't watched the game yet. I have it recorded.
Speaker 2:So I plan to watch that sometime this week, but I do know the outcome. But it's still like to rewind and I still got a while I'm gonna go ahead and watch the game.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna go ahead and watch the game, so I plan to watch that sometime this week, but I do know the outcome. But it's still like to rewind and I still got to watch it, so of course gotta support it, and they just inked a new deal too.
Speaker 1:I know for next season I know it's big time guy and Gotham FC went from like Bottom of the charts to the top of the charts. They, they did pretty awesome bringing in some, some other additional players and stuff like that. So, yeah, pretty I was having throwback moments.
Speaker 2:This weekend, the women's college cup season is kicking off their NCAA tournament and. My alma mater was playing and they were playing Notre Dame opening round.
Speaker 1:Oh, bring back the memories, not good memories.
Speaker 2:Good memories. They did not get crucified like I got crucified the Notre Dame.
Speaker 1:But wait, was a score then.
Speaker 2:They only lost to nothing.
Speaker 1:No way, yeah, they did really good. That is pretty good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and they're Notre Dame's ranked number nine in the country right now. So I mean, it was a good, good step performance. They made it through the first half zero, zero, yeah, yeah. So kudos to them and you know, another good year for them, so excited to Shout out about that program and yeah, just there you go all the feelings in November. They're all coming around.
Speaker 1:I know they do it's like the Reminiscing of the fall. But you know, one of my goals, I really want to go out to carry and do the, the final four for soccer, for the women's college cup, and actually go out there and watch it, I think, or wherever they hold it. I think last year they held in, I think it is carry I'm I could be wrong, maybe it was at Stanford last year. Anyways, I'm gonna keep rambling, but that is a goal of mine is to go check out the college cup and Watch some good soccer in the rain and cold and how it normally ends up being in November over Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2:So Bring your warm jacket, you'll be good. Yeah, bring warm jacket, have some coffee, be alright so that's a great vision for where you want to go and what you want to do and that's one of the things that Franklin Covey often talks about is Knowing where you want to go. I know, let's let's pivot here, yeah, and dive into the seven habits of highly effective people. And, ashley, won't you give a little bit of background on it? Why this book? Why did we choose this one?
Speaker 1:so we both chose this book because I think when we were younger so I remember when I was younger my parents gave me the seven habits of highly effective people, but also the seven habits of highly effective teens. I think was that the other book that he had out there and and I think that kind of probably started. Like Ashley, I like those type of books because those are all the books that my parents gave me when I was younger. But I think it's a pretty good foundation of the things of like just what do you prioritize, how do you balance things, how do you let things go? What drives you? I mean, I think it's a lot of this book is core tenants of things that I really Engulfed as a person I don't know if that's the right word, but I feel like it's like I do a lot of the things that he talks about in the book and I found them very helpful for pursuing goals.
Speaker 1:When I was younger, like the, the goal was go play college soccer and that was how do I get there? And, honestly, used a lot of these habits to get there. So, being proactive, figuring out the end in mind. Is college soccer, putting things first, what do I have to do to accomplish those things. Sorry, can't hang out today. I got soccer for All those folks who ever wanted to hang out. Don't lose your marbles over something little.
Speaker 1:So think win-win, seek first to understand, then to be understood. So really look for meaning, search. Why are we doing these things that we're doing? That helps you understand where you're going. How do you get to your end goal? Synergize so for the folks that, how do you put all those things together and actually put it out into the universe and accomplish it? And then, a sharper in the saw, how do you really Find, tool, fine tune the things that you're doing in order to achieve those goals? And if you've listened before, some of these might sound very familiar from like the wildly important goal Of how do you choose the one thing to do. That's gonna move the needle a bit the farthest, which is a big part of seven habits of highly effective people. But for today, because there's so much to do, we're gonna talk about the first three habits and so I'm gonna hand it off to Erin about why this book, to what it means to her, and then she'll jump in with the first one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally no, I it's funny. I don't know that we ever talked about this book as kids, because I also my parents the highly effective seven habits for highly effective teens and there is a whole suite of like Seven habits for highly effective marriages. Like they took this methodology and they Iterated it to different, to fit different circumstances and, quite frankly, if you know one, you get the gist of them all much, all of it these these are common foundational elements that you can use across any type of personal or Corporate.
Speaker 1:You know organizational- Platforms are hard today. Yes, platforms.
Speaker 2:Thank you, yeah, thank you, it's been a minute since we've done this.
Speaker 1:I know we gotta get into work. We're in the rhythm. It just words sometimes are rough.
Speaker 2:Words can be rough.
Speaker 1:So anyway um.
Speaker 2:That was it. Same. Like Ashley, this was one of the ones that really stood out to me, I think, really spurred. This is the first, like I would call it, personal development book that I read, and I must have read it like three or four times. I really liked it and it's funny because I was using the habits, but I didn't even know that I was using the habits. And then I read it and I was like, oh my god, I'm doing that, I'm on the right track, like this is amazing, like I See it, there's a path here and I see it, and like I'm doing it, and so, like it's gonna, it's gonna work. It's gonna work Because, again, the goal was college soccer and then I used it for other things and it's still still works. Guys, it won't just get you to play college soccer, it'll work for other things too.
Speaker 1:That was just our goals, which we didn't know at the time. Well, we knew that was the goal of time. We didn't know we were reading the same book at the time.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes. So habit one be proactive. Focus on what you can control and influence instead of what you can't. And the one thing that I like about this and actually said it talks to a lot of different things We've already talked about In it, but this one ties closely back to our first episode of the secret In your intentions and what you put out through your thoughts into the universe, um, but it talks a lot about reframing what and how you speak to yourself and others, so it's taking a responsibility for your actions and for what you want to do. So, um, going back to college soccer it wasn't I have to go practice, it was I get to go practice so I can get better, so I can play in college. Um, I'm making that choice. I'm I'm choosing that route because I'm responsible as a person and that is what I'm doing.
Speaker 2:What I do want to focus on more closely with this habit is the what you can control and influence, and relate that back to work, because this was a huge one, um, I think, for people, there is Covey puts it as two circles. So you have an outer circle, uh, the circle of concern, and that could be anything that you're worried about and that can be, um, anything as small as you know. What are we gonna have for dinner tonight? To um Something large, like the 2024 elections are coming up and what does that mean for the world. So that's your, your circle of concern.
Speaker 2:Anything that gives you concern or worry or pause that you have to think about. Then, within that circle, you have your circle of influence. So what can I actually focus on? What can I make change with? What actually has an impact that I can do something about? So again going back to example of like what should we have for dinner tonight? Well, I can go to the grocery store and get food, or we can be responsible use the food that we have at home, or we can go get takeout, like those are things that you have influence. You can make those decisions, enact moving forward For what you're gonna have for dinner now, unless you are in the political atmosphere and running super PACs and voters and all of those elements of elections, you're probably not gonna have a big say in the 2024 election. Now I'm not saying don't go vote.
Speaker 1:Your vote is your circle of influence.
Speaker 2:Please vote. Everyone should vote all the time, especially for local elections. You have more control in a local election than you do the presidential election, but, regardless, go vote, cast your vote. But that's about the extent of your circle of influence. Maybe you'll donate some money, maybe you'll do some fundraising for people, but unless you're really big into that, your influence of that is very, very, very small. And so then don't put your energy and your control and your feelings of angst and worry or excitement whatever into that, because at the end outcome is you're not gonna be able to do anything about it.
Speaker 2:And so, relating it back to an organizational perspective, this came up a lot in a lot of different areas that I worked in, and it was like, wow, we have all these problems and we've gotta solve all these problems, and all these problems are so big. And the leaders that did well recognize that some problems they cannot impact and even though it was a problem, they would let those go and they would only focus on what they could control. And because they only focused on what they could control, they were able to solve problems effectively within that circle and saw better results. The ones that tried to I call it boiling the ocean. The ones that tried to boil the ocean and solve all of the world's problems within their organization floundered and they couldn't do it.
Speaker 2:And so you saw success for those people who knowingly were like, yep, that's a problem, nothing we can do about that, sorry guys, we're just gonna have to deal with it and move on and shift to what they could do. And so a lot of the language and inhabit one is again going back to like focusing in on telling yourself like the positive, like I'm making change in this direction, narrowing your intentions, being intentional about what your thought process and how you're speaking to others, and so that's. I get excited about this one, because I think everyone tries to do too much. And going back to again the 40X of like focusing in on the one important thing and doing that really well brings you a lot more success than focusing on all the things and not doing anything Exactly exactly and it's putting that wildly important goal from 40X that wig of what battles can you win, like, focus on the battles that you can win, that's gonna move the needle.
Speaker 1:And one of the other things that's really important to take away from this piece is that when you're working on your circle of influence and we talk about that reframing of I get to go to practice or I get to solve this problem is really focusing in that proactive focus and being positively, giving that positive energy, that positive reframe, because that enlarges your circle of influence If you believe you can do it, if you can see other windows to the door that shut, that increases your circle of influence to be able to achieve that goal. Now, if you're reactively focusing and going, I can't do this and it's different from like boiling the water. I can't do this because that problem's too big. It's how do I narrow the focus to move the needle?
Speaker 1:But if I'm so focused on everything that's going wrong or everything that could go wrong and that's a big pet peeve of mine is like what could go wrong Everything, why are we focusing on that? Because everything could go wrong anyways. Let's try it and then continue to pivot and change things if we continue to maintain that positive focus on that goal, because the negative energy reduces the circle of influence. So I like to call that negative energy or the kudves, or what will go wrong thinking I go are you a problem solver or a problem barrier? So it's that you don't wanna be in that barrier per se of that negative, reactive focus on everything. Otherwise you'll never be able to move the needle, you'd never be able to achieve a goal, and that's really the first purpose is like figuring out how to do that.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and if you're looking for another book that really will help with this, the Gratitude Diaries I'm just starting to read and it talks a lot about reframing your mindset, and so that one I think it goes hand in hand with this one in terms of how to reframe. So the secret habit one be proactive. Gratitude diaries I'll talk about reframing your personal thought to achieve better results.
Speaker 1:Right, and one of the examples that Kavi gives is to replace reactive language with proactive language is like a reactive is he makes me so mad and the proactive language is I control my own feelings, so using I statements about what how do I feel, not what that person is doing.
Speaker 1:So, really, if you look at it from a standpoint of what can I control when we talk about those things that are controllable, that's how you can reframe those conversations. And if you really move into taking control and being proactive in the things that you want to achieve and want to do, then that really pulls you into beginning with the end in mind. What is that end goal that we need to be proactive in achieving? Because if we're not gonna try to achieve the goal or be or wait for it to happen, as much as I want to put things out in the universe like the secret, I still have to do things to get there. I still have to put one foot in front of the other to achieve my goal. So, yes, I may want more money, but I need to work, I need to be proactive in my job, I need to figure out how to balance my life. You have to take those steps to get to the the end in mind one thing, so Ashley's jumped into habit.
Speaker 2:Number two, and One thing that I loved about begin with the end in mind that I forgot about when I read this. When I was little say little as a teenager Was. I was always so goal-driven on college soccer that Like that's. It was like beginning with the end of mind, I'm gonna go play college soccer. But reading it again, covey actually takes it a step further and he is not only like small goals but he is like life. What are they gonna say when you're in your final days? Like, what does your obituary look like? What does? And it's very kind of dark and and remorseful. But it reminded me back to when I was in high school.
Speaker 2:Leadership we had. I don't know if my leadership teacher was using the seven habits on us or not, but he talked about your dash, the time between your birth date and your death date on your gravestone or your obituary, wherever you want to look at those numbers. But you have that dash in between. And what Space. That's a very small symbol for the space of of what you contributed in your life. So were you a good family member? What did you do for the world's? Like the organization? How did you fill your dash? What was in your dash? And I've thought about that a lot and so when Covey brought that back in, I was like, ah, it's the dash. The dash is there, but it really is.
Speaker 2:Taking that long-term view of what does my entire life look like? What do I want it to look like? Am I going in the right direction now, or am I not going in the right direction? And he walks you through that process of you need to take time away from the busy world to really think about what, what you want your end to look like. And I don't think people do enough time to like do that reflective check, and we've talked about this before like you need time to reflect and and you need quiet space. You need to like get away from it. You don't need your phone going off, you don't need the TV on. Like you need a quiet space for a period of time where you can kind of just sit and think and really reflect back. So he talks about that's how you start to create like in your vision, that's how you get to your vision and then you can scale it back. It doesn't have to be. You know, hopefully all 100 years that I say I'm gonna live to 100, all 100 years.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love, sorry, I love the dash keep going.
Speaker 2:But then he drops it down into your personal mission statement and your values and really has you work on. Who are you as a person, what do you value, what is your foundational element? And I know we've talked about values and vision before for the organization and for yourself and why it's so important. But I really liked where he went with habit too, because then he takes it into these centers and like, as you're centered as a person, and so he walks through you could be career centered, you could be family centered, you could be oh it's, I'm losing it.
Speaker 1:He had like five of them money centered, work centered, possession centered, pleasure centered. I forgot about these. When I was looking, when I was reviewing it, I was like, oh my goodness, but that's you could be. Friend centered, enemy centered, church centered, self centered, what is the thing that is, your guiding principles that you do everything on.
Speaker 1:So if you were to say I have an opportunity to take this new position, to do I don't know Run a business, and I'm already running a business, but this business would have to be like I have to move. I don't know anybody when it, where am I centered and how? How are my values and how are the things that I hold myself to Going to affect my decision-making? So if I am family centered, my security is founded on my family acceptance, filling of family expectations, and my actions are limited by the family models and traditions. So if someone's offering me a position away from my family, even though it might be a great opportunity, I don't know if that's something I'm taking, because I make all my decisions and my value is my family and I need them there. I don't think that's a good decision for me to make.
Speaker 1:To move to a new business. That might be something. Where is, if I'm money centered or work centered where my Income in my work to find me. Then that might be a kind of a different conversation. Yeah, I might take that job because I'm not feeling the values and the things that I live my life by. That's holding me to one place.
Speaker 2:If that makes any sense, yeah, it does. And I think one thing that I really liked with as he describes it in the book is those will flux and change and you're not just one. Don't just put yourself in one bucket, because you're not just one of those things, but you do have tendencies that lie in each of those areas. And so when you make your personal mission statement and you write out like this is how I want to fill my dash, so let's say you're money centered, like you're traditionally, like you want to earn money, like that is the center that you were in, but you write in your personal mission statement I Want to be surrounded by my family in my dash, I want to have a lasting legacy of. You know, a happy spouse, kids that are I'm closely connected with, that have gone on and done great things in their life. And then you, you go to make your day-to-day decisions that are tend to be money centered, because you're just Incoherently stressed about money and you want to make sure that you're you have enough money for your spouse and your kids and all of that Right. And so it's kind of conflicting because you need to be away from the home to make the money, but you're making the money for the family, which is what you're really your mission statement is, and so it kind of pulls you in two directions and what he says is take the time To think about each one and go does this match my mission statement, or is this a different center that's pulling me away and so you might look at it and go? The opportunity to move my family to a brand new state when we know nobody and nothing and I'm gonna be working a hundred hours of time, a hundred hours a week. Will that match my mission statement or is that purely a money centered focus? And then you can make better decisions and maybe that is the right decision for you and your family, or maybe it's like you know what I'm gonna pass on that opportunity for this reason and I think it just. It gives a structure and a framework to live within, and then you know that you're working towards your end goal, which is your mission statement, and you're intentional with your decisions and you're not letting other people make your decisions for you. And that is something that I think a lot of people especially as you're climbing the corporate ladder you are almost dictated to of like this is how you're going to run your life because you are seeking X promotion or X raise and you just go with it because, oh, I don't want to, I don't want to get fired, I don't want my boss to be mad at me. Like I want, like, if I don't stay, I've done. I personally have done this.
Speaker 2:I'm going to stay longer at the job, even though I've already put in my 55 hours for the week, because Bob's sitting over there and I don't want to leave before Bob does. So I'm just going to sit here. I'm not doing anything productive, literally nothing productive. I am just shooting, shooting the bull with a co-worker when my husband, who had been gone for two weeks at a time, was at home and I'm like, but I need to outwork this guy, so I'm going to wait until this guy leaves and then I'll leave because I get more face time with the boss. It was terrible, it was awful. I should have just been home with my husband. Like it was dumb. It was so dumb, but I was not again focused on that personal mission statement in that moment, and so it does catch up to you and you have to constantly like, revisit it, refocus on what you're about.
Speaker 1:And exactly what Erin's talking about. It does. It comes up all the time and it's like where is that frustration coming from? And this is where we talk about when people are like are you really happy at your job? These are things to look at in the long run. Is that M? Is my mission or my values aligning with what I want to accomplish? And it is that pressure from feeling like I need to be here to be outworked as person or to be seen by the boss, outweighing the other good things that I'm doing within my work, but also within my life?
Speaker 1:And one of the quotes I really love about the second habit that we've been talking about is that Covey says it's incredibly easy to get caught up in an activity trap, to work harder and harder, climbing the ladder of success, only discover that it's leaning against the wrong wall. That quote is so pivotal and it is so true. I mean I think that can. I can look at that quote and go oh my God, just all the things that I've done in my life, whether it's work or personal or sports or all the other pieces to my pie and go anytime. I felt frustration. It totally leans to that Like I'm just working the wrong ladder, like we need to pivot, we need to change something, and so that's the biggest thing. I think the biggest takeaway we can really talk about is what is that leading?
Speaker 1:I love the dash example that you give Aaron, because and what he uses to is because what are the things that you're doing within your life, that you lead your life by? What is that legacy? What are the things that you want to accomplish? And it is so true, when people get to the end of life going, the biggest regrets are the things that they wanted to do or wanted to that just didn't mesh with their priorities or their values, like what can I do with the rest of my time? And it's really interesting I'm going to take a little pivot here with the dash so it's really interesting that if you there's some studies done on people with end of life going, if you ask them throughout their life period, where did they enjoy most of their life? It was towards the end, because they got to do all the things they wanted to do with no regrets and to be able to really align their personal values, their mission, to what time they had left, and so I just think I thought that was really interesting.
Speaker 1:I was listening to a podcast the other day and they were talking about that, and I think there's something to be said, when Covey looked at this as a whole life thing, of what are those habits to be effective, what are those habits to live your life or even in the universe? What are the things you're doing and it's, what are the things that really make me me and how do I align everything else that I'm doing to make me me? Otherwise, I'm going to feel that frustration or I'm going to feel that pivot, or I'm going to be pissed, or maybe that's where I'm not getting my balance in life. And so really thinking that it might not just be the end goal but like really the full life goal too, and taking those moments of silence or moments away from technology, away from people, get away, to really really take that time to dive into it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I loved the letter quote as well like you're going up the wrong wall and I think what you just said about the end of life and people are traditionally great in retirement doing more of the things that they want to be doing and I think particularly maybe for the boomer generation they worked that nine to five and they worked really hard to provide support for the family, because you have to right Like you have to have income to provide for your family and you worked really hard but you missed out on those moments in early childhood, potentially with your family, to really build that foundation. And then there I hear this a lot from parents of like you blink in the next thing your kids are gone and like you don't have that time back. You can't get the time back, and that's one thing that I know.
Speaker 2:I'm personally trying to be really intentional about because I am I am stressed about finances at times and I am a money centered person of like not that I have to have all the money in the world, but I want to be able to buy a winter jacket when I want to buy a winter jacket and have the right gloves for when I'm shoveling and those things cost money, and so it just is one of those things of like I am very much at a dichotomy right now in my life, of like, okay, I could work a little bit more, but my kids are only so little, you know, and so it is this push and pull, and I actually, while you were talking about this, I think there's two things in society that are going on, and I'm getting totally off On a rant here but it goes into the second goal though, but I know we're going in society.
Speaker 2:There is such a problem right now with Affordable life like the cost of for to be like cost of groceries is ridiculous right now.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's absurd, absurd basic needs, housing let's talk about increased praise and housing and just like general life things that you're you're having to spin on the hamster wheel so Much just to be able to afford to live. So you're seeing a lot more. You know families where two people are working full-time and you're trying to make ends meet, or you're working multiple jobs, and it's just really, really difficult To find that balance because you are effectively on this hamster wheel of like god, I've got to feed the kids and I got to be able to provide, I got to get everybody a winter jacket and like gloves and what they need, right, and so it is a really difficult, difficult thing to do. And so I think, just taking the breath of focusing in on, okay, this is where I want to go, we're not there yet because both of us are spinning our wheels, or I'm working multiple jobs or like this is chaos in my moment. Then how do we get there?
Speaker 2:Right, if this is what I want it to look like, how do I step back and then change what I'm currently doing To get to that angle, right? So how do I design my life? Use that book, it's very similar. But how do I design my life in such a way that I can get to be where I want to be, and Maybe it's, maybe it is the short season of I need to go back and earn Additional education in a field where that's underserved. Become an electrician. Become a trade.
Speaker 1:Go to your trade skills, the god. The trade skills right now are like, though, insane. Do something different, but there.
Speaker 2:You know, I think there's things that you could do, that you could look at the short term. It may be more, it may be more of a time commitment away from the house, or it may be more of a A struggle in the short term, but those benefits will pay off in the long term to get me to reach that dash. So I think you got to keep seasonality in perspective to a little bit, because it's very easy to say you can have this glamorous life of Living your dash and fulfilling the moment, but it takes a lot of work to actually be able to do that. And I think that's where he goes into habit three, which is put first things first. So, ashley, if you kind of want to talk about Habit three, put first things first, yeah, and I think I think that's a good, good place to start because there is so much you can do with that dash.
Speaker 1:There's so much you can do in life, whether it's seasons or the things that are driving you, because those, those things that drive us are different depending on where we are in life. Right, like we talked about, our goal growing up was playing college soccer. Well, that goal only dribbling. Our goal growing up was playing college soccer. Well, that goal only drove us for so long. And then we hit college and it was like, well, I got here, now I gotta figure out what I need to do, um, and then, once you get your job, oh, okay, I'm gonna work, work. You know I'm gonna work, achieve my goal here, but then maybe something else will change. Maybe it's I don't like what I'm doing, so I need to figure out what my pivot is. Maybe it is hey, I met my Significant other and this is what this is gonna look like. Now my priorities change. Maybe it's having kids and your priorities change again. You know it all goes back to just knowing that life is a lot of ebbs and flows, but just know what drives you in your heart and I think that kind of leads you to where you need to go and don't be afraid of the things that you're scared of either. I think that's something he hits at. Two is Work out your worst-case scenario and figure out what happens there.
Speaker 1:But anyways, to get on to habit three, put first things first. What is the most important priority that you need at the moment? I think it kind of goes into how do you Prioritize what you need to get done and how do you manage your time. We always talk about when in management, when you're working with somebody goes oh my god, I'm so overwhelmed, I don't know what to do, I don't know how to handle everything. First thing is let's take a step back and look at what's what, what has to be done, what is going to be the thing that is most urgent, most necessary, that you have to get done to accomplish anything else. So look at that and he breaks it down into into four pieces of the pie, essentially of urgent versus important tasks. So important and urgent, important not urgent, not important and urgent and then not important, not urgent. So those things that like really can fall into you. Well, that I don't necessarily have to work on the spreadsheet today, because that's really a long time. That's a long goal that I'm working on to show some data over the next year. Okay, that's not really that important that I have to tackle right now.
Speaker 1:That can go into that not important, not urgent category, that quadrant, and although this is a really visual task that I like to use because people can write it down and see what is actually do, I always like to do what is due in the next 24 hours, what's due in the next 72, and then what's due in the next week, and kind of go from there to figure out what's the most important thing that needs to get done. It just helps you prioritize. It's a way to make a to-do list, a prioritizing list.
Speaker 1:Um, you know what are the things that you have to accomplish as an administrator? So for me, it's like my most important duties is my day-to-day job, so like putting out fires, managing crisis as a, managing relationships any of those three things happen or Getting information back to my boss if they're ask, if they're asking for it. Those are the top four things that I have to do on the daily, and then everything else kind of falls into that next step of urgency. So Following up on personnel, following up on productivity reports, following up with emails, following up with zoom chats, you name it, or even following up on my Individual clients, or whatever else I'm working on. It just kind of falls into rank of what that the rest of the week looks like. Um Erin, you got anything else to add?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think this goes really into the 40x book too. So if, if habit one and two are like the vision and your values and your mission statements, that's the leadership style, right? That's you're being a leader with your life at that point or the leader with your organization at that point, in habit three is really the management. So it is very much the nuts and bolts managing of your like okay, how do we get there? This is the vision. Now how do I actually manage my life to get there or manage my organization to get there?
Speaker 2:And I think a lot of people really get stuck in firefighting mode and I mean it's important, it's that quadrant one it's important and it's urgent and you could live there all day. You can live there all day. And why I like 40x and why I think it pivots to this so nicely, is because it talks about you're never going to get rid of quadrant one, of quadrant one. It's never going to go away, but you need to find a way to also take time for quadrant two, which is that maybe less important but still, or more important but less urgent, right? So it's still, it's things that will bring very good results, but it's not going to be at the front line. It's easier to blow off because no one's screaming about it.
Speaker 2:But these are things like relationship building, proactive work, thinking about, like creative thinking, checking back in with yourself of your vision and your mission. Statements like am I on the right track? Reflection. He even puts recreation in this quadrant of like time for your mental and physical health, like are you recreating enough so you don't burn out? He puts that in there as well. So it's. It are things that are very important to yourself being but not urgent. So I, you know I love a, you know I love a planner and a calendar.
Speaker 1:I know this is where it comes into plan, right here. I love this so much. You'll get it out there, and you'll get it out there.
Speaker 2:I know, but that's where I really think right, looking at your mission statement, looking at your personal goals and then defining the one or two or three habits that are really going to get you there and then blocking time for those, even if it's not the most urgent thing you can doing. But if it's 20 minutes a day, right, or a set small blocks of time, you can manage that into your life and you can block that time for yourself because it is important, it is an important thing for you and so it just really ties together. And so, as you're planning and as you're thinking about, well, if this urgent crisis does come up, how am I going to manage that but still hit the things, my habits, of things that are important in my life? And so, even going through that exercise, as you plan your week of like oh, but if the client calls and needs to reschedule the meeting and I need to rearrange my schedule, how am I going to make sure I don't lose that 20 minute block of time that I've scheduled?
Speaker 2:Because, again, going back to the 40X principle, 80% of your time, at least 80%, is going to be working in that box one. Hopefully you're not down in the not important boxes of three and four, three a little bit, but really sad for, and not important, not urgent, don't need to be doing it, but really focus in on that. Okay, like I'm going to make the time for this quadrant too, and that's really hard to do, but it's not your full time job, it just is a part of your job that you need to make sure it's the highly critical one. You need to make sure it's there. Think of it as like the oil.
Speaker 1:Like you got to do oil change, you got to do oil maintenance. 20% of your time is the oil. So how do you really implement? And even if you're having a hard time doing quadrant two, it's pick one, pick one of those activities in quadrant two and just figure out how to incorporate it over the next two weeks and then it will become habit.
Speaker 2:That's where, like yes, which one is going to be the biggest, most effective change in your life in the current state?
Speaker 1:That's where the wildly important goal comes from. It's amazing that all ripple effects into one, you know. But it's really trying just to map out. And, like Aaron said, it's mapping out, it's prioritizing, it's taking the time to take a step back. Give yourself the time to schedule things, to really prioritize what you're doing. And this is the same thing in life. Like I, get busy A lot of the time. Most of us have probably have our bills on automatic bill pay, but you still need to go whoa, what am I spending here? And really take a step back and look at what you're doing to slow things down. It's a way to slow time down, to slow yourself down, to really check yourself. Think of it as like a gut check. You know of going what am I really doing today? What do I have to do with this week? That's why planners are so good Planners, outlook, calendars, anything that you can see visually.
Speaker 1:We've gone to such a virtual world that some people who need the things in on paper struggle. I'm one of those people. I kind of need it on paper to see, but it's also and I'm also kind of cheesy in this way. But I really love the planners that have quotes or things on the top of it because it really makes me think about the things I'm doing on my day to day. So if you know what motivates you, lean into the things that motivate you. That's. The other thing is like really take away the things. That goes back to that to the dash. What drives you to do what you do? What's that internal motivation? What is the things that you can have that positive reframe and really work towards your end goal? How do you prioritize that? By doing that, they kind of all ripple effect into each other, which is why he has listed the seven habits the way that he has Boom. There it is. I know that's top three. Those are top three. We saw four more habits to go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so this is just the personal reflection side. Then it goes into the other side of the book, which really works with more of your relationships and how to work with other people, but so important to take the time to do these.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so important, yeah. So the next episode, if you guys can't tell, will be the last four habits, so we might have to break it up into two and three, depending on how into it we get, but hope you're enjoying. Please follow us always. Listen to us. Coffeeshopconnectionspodcast on Instagram. You can find us on all different platforms for your podcasting needs and don't be afraid to message us to hear If you're liking what you're hearing. If you want us to hit a subject that you think will be interesting or a book that you think is interesting, please let us know. As always. Hope you're enjoying your cup of coffee and that you found a biscotti in. I hope you ever enjoyed the episode.
